Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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