Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
