Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize