Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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