so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize