walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
