im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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