Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
