you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
