i just sent this text using only my big toe
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
