Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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