my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
