No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
