YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My first STD was from a foam party
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize