Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
