I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
