giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
