that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
