I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
