I am in a vortex of obligation.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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