Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
