we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
