Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
