No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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