im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
