how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
