So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
