Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
