If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Success! We fucked roommates!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
