If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize