Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize