I'm really into asian looking animals
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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