WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
