So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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