TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
