oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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