I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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