i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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