Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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