A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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