I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
