whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
