I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
