I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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