38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
