Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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