So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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