it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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