1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
