Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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