ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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