Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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