Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
