i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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