YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
