Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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