apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
