can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
