When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
