I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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