He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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