Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
