After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Randomize
