I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
