She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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