I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
