How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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