it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
