We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
